Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
