I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just made my gag reflex go away.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
