All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
