Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
