It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
