And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
