so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
