I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
