oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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