Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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