So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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