he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I checked into jail on foursquare
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
