I cockslap morals
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I am one with the molecules
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
