so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
