Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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