so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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