Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
