we made out on top of his cat.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
