eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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