I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
