I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
