I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
