he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
