after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
