At least make sure they are 18
Why
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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