My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
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