so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
