What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
