my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
