I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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