the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
