We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
