On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
