this beer tastes like vomit already
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
