He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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