I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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