just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
