Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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