How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
