I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
