Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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