well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
