I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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