it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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