I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I touched a dick in church today
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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