Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize