Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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