You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
