if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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