I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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