dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
