I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
