I feel great
I just peed on a car
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
