escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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