I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
