I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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