i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
