We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
