I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize