I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
