either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
it glows. i had to have it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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