Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
