i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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